Lorraine Bossé-Smith - Author - The Total You
Lorraine Bossé-Smith is a writer, author of eight books, speaker, life coach and AFAA certified personal trainer/fitness instructor. She’s been seen on live television shows and on radio programs nation wide.
Her passion is improving the quality of your life.
I came from a single-parent family before such a label even existed. We were below the poverty level, but my mom had pride. We would take no handouts. I began working at the tender age of 13 when my father died of cancer. I was a skilled typist already, so I was able to work at the school district typing the directory with a manual typewriter.
My mother was very old school. Women were to marry and have children—period. If (big emphasis on the IF) a woman had to work, she was allowed to be a secretary. With that, my biggest dream was to be an Administrative Assistant some day.
I was so shy during junior high that I could hardly say hello to anyone without choking up or turning beat red. But my dad’s death changed me. I really didn’t understand what happened, but as time passed and he didn’t come home, I realized my life would never be the same.
The summer before high school, I decided life was very short and I better make the most of it. I went from a C student to a straight A student. I became the president of clubs, a member of the national honor society, spoke to students, volunteered in the community and made many friends. I began to blossom. My mother was not pleased.
When I started looking at colleges to attend, my mother had a fit. Women didn’t go to college. After rounds and rounds of arguments, I conceded to not only stay local with my education but that I would enroll in the secretarial two-year program. My little glimpse of a bigger life was squashed.
It’s no wonder I made some horrific choices in men during my youth. I lost my example of a loving man and was under my mother’s thumb, which was a result of her anguish over my father’s death. I always seemed to pick the abusive, controlling men who believed women were second-class citizens. Go figure.
I left home at the age of 17 in hopes of spreading my wings. I could barely afford my rent not to mention food, but I had my freedom…sort of. I did receive some scholarships and awards to help with school, but I went hungry many a day. I would drop 20 pounds in a week, hovering around 110 pounds at 5’ 10” tall. My mother continued to tell me what I could and couldn’t do with my free time. By the time I completed by Associate’s Degree in Office Information Technology, a fancy term for secretarial support, I was married and divorced from a Cocaine addict, abusive man and remarried to an abusive, controlling compulsive/neurotic freak. But, I had worked my way up the ladder some in my work. I got the bug for marketing, and I was good at it. I decided to press on for my Bachelor’s degree.
I had no support from my husband, who said I better still cook every meal, do his clothes, blah blah blah. My mother was disgusted and predicted I would end up quitting. That was it. This was a turning point for me. I buckled down and became very determined to succeed. I was working 50 to 80 hours a week as I continued to climb the corporate ladder. In fact, I began setting records for the youngest manager in a company…and I was a woman, to boot, in a very male-dominated industry. I was carrying a heavy school load, but I still managed to find time to exercise, be with friends and enjoy life. My marriage was awful and took its toll on my health, but I didn’t give up.
Unfortunately, my busy schedule prevented me from dealing with my marriage once and for all. What should have been a one-year mistake turned into six years of hell. I graduated with my BS in Business Administration with duel minors in Communications and Marketing, receiving a promotion. I began running a small publisher when my husband received his orders for transfer to England. I later learned he requested the transfer. Couldn’t have me making more money than him! So like a good wife, I unplugged my career and followed him.
In no time, however, I was teaching fitness classes, leading worship at church and substitute teaching. The distance greatly improved my relationship with my mom. In fact, we were able to have a healing conversation about what was said and done along with the impacts it had on my life. This gave me courage, something good I inherited from my mom. She was a strong woman and faced her own difficulties, like being a single mom and supporting us.
Just when we hit a sweet spot and I began to find my way, she was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumor.
With this news, my husband assured me that he would divorce me if I left England to care for my mother. I gladly said good-bye and left, leaving behind all my worldly possessions, and subsequently losing most of them in a bitter and ugly divorce.
The divorce and watching my mother die before my very eyes nearly killed me. I dropped down to 97 pounds, and I’m 5’ 10” tall! This was another turning point in my life. I needed to do something I enjoyed, care better for myself and manage my all-to-high stress levels. So I did what any intelligent person would do; I turned down a half dozen solid job offers and went into business for myself!
I packed up what little I had and moved to Seattle, Washington. I hate the rain and clouds even more. But, I had two friends in the area, and I felt led to this area for some reason. I started my business with the money I received from mom: $500.00.
I slept on the couch without even a blanket (I didn’t own one) and used the spare room of my friend’s apartment as my office. I launched a marketing consulting business and within a month was making $13,000!
Shortly after my move, I met a gift from God…my now husband of 10 ½ years. When my life fell apart, I thought it would take years and years to rebuild, but in a matter of months, I had my own apartment with furnishings, a business of my own that was thriving and a relationship unlike any I had known. Today I am a published author of over eight books, speak across the country on a variety of topics and still offer consulting services to select companies. I continue to teach fitness classes and coach people on having balanced, fulfilling and healthy lives.
Some may think I had it hard; I think others have it much worse. If you asked me to toot my own horn, I’d say I’m determined. No matter what life dished at me (or what messes I created), I pressed on. I have a Franklin Covey framed poster in my office that’s become my motto:
Go over, Go Under
Go Around or Go Through
But NEVER give up!
If I can help you in any way, please contact me at www.thetotalyou.biz I have started a Blog, that can be accessed from my website. Check in frequently to see how I'm doing, what I'm thinking and what I have to share with you regarding a healthier life.
